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‘Well, anyway,’ Sir Reginald continued. ‘We’re actually a group of steampunk enthusiasts.’ 

‘Steam… what?’ Jenny asked. 

‘Steampunk,’ the Doctor said. ‘You see, in the future, people will write stories about this time period. Only with key differences.’ 

‘What do you mean?’ 

‘Things like machines that run on steam instead of electricity. Airships everywhere. Basically, a level of technology far beyond what you know today.’ 

‘Precisely, Doctor,’ Sir Reginald said. ‘Only we believed the stories we read to be historical documents. That’s why we travelled here. To see the wonders of the steampunk age for ourselves.’ 

‘You can only imagine our disappointment when we arrived,’ one of the women said. 

‘Indeed, Veronica,’ Sir Reginald said. ‘Finding out that the stories we loved were nothing more than fiction was a terrible blow. That’s why we resolved to do something about it.’ 

‘Do what, exactly?’ the Doctor asked. 

‘We decided to integrate ourselves into Victorian society and change history so that Britain would look more like the one from steampunk stories.’ 

‘And how do you propose to do that?’ Vastra asked. 

‘We’ve all gotten jobs in the engineering sector,’ Sir Reginald explained. ‘Over time, we plan to introduce steampunk technology into your factories. Before long, virtually everything will run on steam, people will travel from place to place in airships and mechanical men will perform all menial labor.’ 

‘You expect us to accept these changes?’ Jenny asked. 

‘Absolutely!’ Sir Reginald exclaimed. ‘This is all being done in the name of progress. Science fiction writers of the last few millennia have dreamt up a far better world than the one you all inhabit. Well, now we’re here to turn that dream into a reality. I think you’ll agree the world of steampunk is preferable to what you have now. After all, we have technology that can make you live well past the age of one hundred.’ 

‘I’ve heard enough!’ Vastra shouted as she drew her sword. ‘I can’t allow you to tamper with history!’ 

The Doctor grabbed her arm. ‘Stop it, Vastra!’ he said emphatically. ‘Let’s settle this with words and not with swords!’ 

‘Your sword has an interesting design,’ the man named Maurice said, pointing to the sonic ball attached to it. 

‘Yes,’ the woman named Veronica agreed. She turned to Jenny. ‘As does your gauntlet.’ 

‘And your lorgnette,’ another man said, indicating Strax. ‘If I were a betting man, I’d say they were a steampunk design!’ 

‘So it seems you know more about steampunk than you’re letting on,’ Sir Reginald said smugly. ‘Care to enlighten us?’ 

‘The Doctor gave these to us earlier tonight,’ Strax explained. ‘You’ll have to ask him.’ 

‘Well,’ the Doctor said sheepishly, ‘I thought they would benefit from having some new technology on their side. Nothing too earth-shattering, just a step up from where they were before.’ 

‘So you also believe there’s nothing wrong with introducing anachronistic technology into primitive settings then, Doctor,’ Sir Reginald said. ‘Perhaps we’re more alike than you realize.’ 

‘No, we’re not!’ the Doctor said emphatically. ‘And I’ll show you why.’ He tore the vortex manipulator off Sir Reginald’s wrist and put it on his own. ‘Back in a minute,’ he said as he input the TARDIS’ coordinates. He pressed a button on the vortex manipulator and was instantly transported back to the TARDIS. Once inside, he did some calculations on the console and looked at the monitor. ‘Just as I thought,’ he muttered. He then materialized the TARDIS inside the room at 22 Charing Cross Road. Upon emerging, the Doctor found some of the steampunk enthusiasts gazing at the TARDIS in awe. 

‘So that’s a real working TARDIS!’ one of them said. ‘I’ve always wanted to see what it looks like inside one.’ 

‘Well, now’s your chance,’ the Doctor said and he ushered them all inside. Vastra, Jenny and Strax followed closely behind. 

‘If you think you’re going to convince us to abandon our mission, you’re mistaken, Doctor,’ Sir Reginald said. ‘Our minds are made up. The world needs steampunk technology. Everyone will benefit from it and we’ll all be better off in the long run.’ 

‘Are you sure about that?’ the Doctor asked pointedly. 

‘Quite sure. There’s no doubt in my mind.’ 

‘Well, perhaps you should have a look at this,’ the Doctor said and pointed at the monitor. The steampunk enthusiasts all looked at the image on the screen. Several of them gasped. The monitor showed what appeared to be the ruins of a city. The wreckage of numerous airships dotted the landscape, brass pipes were covered with layers of rust and the bodies of clockwork men were strewn about. Nothing moved. No people were visible. 

‘What are we looking at, Doctor?’ Sir Reginald asked. 

‘This is London in the year 5000,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Or it will be if your plans succeed.’ 

‘But… what happened?’ Sir Reginald asked, his face ashen. ‘Where is everyone?’ 

‘Your experiment will work for a time but ultimately, human progress will stagnate. Since everyone will have everything provided for them, they’ll see no need to change anything. And since they’ll be able to live extremely long lives, they’ll eventually stop having children. But even steampunk medicine can’t make people live forever so the human race dies out after several generations. Also, those stories you love so much never get written since the technology is commonplace rather than imaginary.’ 

‘How can you know all this?’ 

‘Because I’m a Time Lord. I can see every possible timeline there is. Believe me, if you go through with this, you’ll be dooming humanity to extinction. None of you will ever have been born. I can’t allow such a gigantic paradox to take place.’ 

Sir Reginald looked at his friends and then turned back to the Doctor. ‘If what you say is true, then I suppose we have no choice but to return to our own time,’ he said sadly. 

‘Yes,’ the Doctor replied. ‘None of you belong here anyway so you’ll be doing the Web of Time a favor.’ 

‘I’m sure there’ll be Time Agents looking for us,’ Maurice said. ‘We’ll have to go into hiding.’ 

‘At least we’ll have our steampunk stories to keep us occupied,’ Veronica said. 

‘That’s the spirit!’ the Doctor exclaimed. ‘After all, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying good science fiction so long as it remains fiction.’ He handed the vortex manipulator back to Sir Reginald who nodded in agreement. 

‘We’ll do our best to keep that in mind, Doctor,’ he said. ‘Farewell.’ All seven of them pressed buttons on their manipulators and vanished in a flash of white light. 

‘I hope that’s the last we see of them,’ Vastra said dismissively. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever encountered such irrational fanaticism.’ 

‘I told you I should have destroyed them for the glory of the Sontaran Empire!’ Strax grumbled. 

‘I stand corrected,’ Vastra remarked. 

‘Well,’ the Doctor said, clapping his hands together, ‘I’m sure you’ve all got other cases to solve so I’ll leave you to it.’ 

‘Doctor,’ Jenny said, ‘You said something about how you thought all the Time Lords were dead until recently. What were you referring to?’ The Doctor thought hard for a moment. 

‘They might not be,’ he said softly. ‘And let’s just leave it at that.’ The three of them looked at each other but did not inquire further. They left the TARDIS and the Doctor took off once more. Just as he was about to leave the console room, he recalled something one of the steampunk enthusiasts had said. He did some more calculations on the console, looked at the monitor again and smiled. ‘Oh, the stories we could write about you,’ he repeated. There, on the monitor, was the cover of an anthology from the 51st century. 

It included a drawing of three familiar figures. The title was Grimlight: The Adventures of a Lizard Woman, her Human Wife and a Potato-Headed Alien in Victorian London. 

written by 
THOMAS AHEARN 
copyright 2014 

artwork by 
COLIN JOHN 
copyright 2014 

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